if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
