She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
