Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I see more hoeing in ur future
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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