Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
