Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
