Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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