..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's intense
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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