the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
