Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
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You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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