dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
