Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
