I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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