Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
