it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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