fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
