I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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