grandma shit on top of the toilet
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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