Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize