some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
