I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
