Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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