blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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