you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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