I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize