Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I need moral support for this bender
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
