me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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