just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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