I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
