Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
