Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
