There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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