until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize