I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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