worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
