ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
