I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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