Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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