i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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