she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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