I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
