maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
