ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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