grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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