Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
40s are totally the cure
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
