Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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