You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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