He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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