i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize