I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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