My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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