I want you more than these girls want KFC
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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