normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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