i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
