What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
